I’m turning 39 today. If you’re to believe Walter Pitkin, I have one year before life begins again. I have so much I want to get done before then.

A Multitude of Malnourished Moments

My life, my time, the media I consume, what I allow in through my eyes, ears and mouth, has been predominantly junk food: High calorie, low nutrition, and an utterly inadequate solution to a hunger growing inside me at an exponential rate… That feeling of “There must be more”.

At closer inspection – or not so close… you could probably see this from the moon – you’d notice that there could easily be “more”. I work from home, and procreation was never part of the plan. No time whatsoever is spent on a daily commute or attending to the needs of little minds and mouths. Busy parents would love to have those extra hours in the day, and even better, have that precious time to themselves. How have I utilised that invaluable surplus? I get out of bed at a time when most people are parking their cars in their designated spot at work… By the time you get home again I’ve probably spent your time in traffic watching an episode or two of my favourite TV series. *sigh*

Screening the Screens

A typical day: Sleep, work, eat, TV (a lot thereof), repeat. My day is spent in front of an endless parade of screens: The computer, the phone, the TV, the tablet, the iPod… My inkling of “moreness” is self-evident; that feeling of a life lived at a fraction of its potential… More indeed, more is what I need, more I shall have.

I spend 4-6 hours a day watching TV, 7 days a week. At its most optimistic, that’s nearly 2 YEARS per decade, JUST watching TV. Imagine what I could do with that time.

Room for More

So, if I decide to only watch TV on Sundays and one other day a week, that’s 1664 hours I suddenly have extra between this birthday and the next. Extra time to:

  • Go for walks, get more active
  • Take up drawing again
  • Get more blogging done… but maybe just write in a journal instead of spending more time in front of a screen
  • Gardening… maybe spend some quality time on a vegetable garden
  • Learn a new language?
  • Spend quality time preparing food
  • I’d say “read more”, but I’ll probably spend more time on audiobooks ;)
  • Do a better job cleaning the house… not just rushing things to get it over with.
  • See what this whole meditation thing is all about…
  • Explore and appreciate other genres of music.

The trick, of course, is to not try and fix the things that aren’t broken. I’ve promised myself to be less critical of hubby and our relationship for the next twelve months. I’m sure he won’t mind. In fact, I can hear his sigh of relief. I also have a very loving and supportive family and circle – ok, triangle – of friends. I have a great job. Nothing wrong there. I’m blessed.

What I want to accomplish is to be more aware of the moment, and seek pride and “perfection” in the smallest of tasks. I want to do more than find ways to fill my time. I want to find ways to fill my life.

I want to live deliberately.

 

 


Thoughts for later exploration:

*In my search for a cure for the itch, have I merely succeeded in distracting myself from the symptoms?
*My mantra of “work smarter, not harder” very rarely included the possibility of the harder work being the smarter choice. Maybe I should look into that.